As a child, writing short stories and plays were a coping mechanism to the madness around me. It was during the mid teens in which I dicovered poetry…or poetry discovered me…it’s a fine line. While living in a dorm at a Christian home for troubled young people is when it began. This is the very first poem I ever wrote and put to paper, at sixteen years of age.
Why am I so messed up inside
Holding feelings I don’t want to hide.
I’m trying so hard to deal with myself…
But my problems are left sitting up on the shelf.
I try to clear them to no avail..
Everything I do just seems to fail
Nothing I do seems to turn out right
But something inside me won’t stop the fight
I’m torn and tossed in this stormy sea
Trying to find who I’m meant to be
So many emotions all bottled inside
It can really mess up ones heart and mind
Things are confused…jumbled together,
Making my heart feel so under the weather.
I’m hurting and hurting, the pain is so deep,
I’m climbing the mountain but its still too steep.
I need someone to lean on, who’ll understand,
Someone who’ll lend me their helping hand.
Most people are users…they like to abuse…
So when I get hurt…it’s really nothing new.
They say they’re “playin” but it cuts like a knife,
They just itch to cause someone strife.
Now my emotions are scarred and abused,
Body and soul are battered and bruised.
So be ready to fight…take it in stride…
Cuz this is a game…most people call life.
Lisa J Emery ’85